Category Archives: Fatherhood

the new ‘Tricycle Zine Distro’ focuses on Radical Parenting Zines

Just wanted to give a shout out to a fabulous rad-parent-zinester across the oceans over in Fiji, Lara at Tricycle Zine Distro!  We’re thrilled that CUNTastic is now being distro’d by Tricycle, along with other titles that are the backbone of any radical parenting library.

Here’s some info about her 3 new exciting projects:

Tricycle Zine Distro was created to distribute and inspire the writing of radical parent/ing* zines and other zines/resources useful to parents, caregivers and allies. 

Building Blocs Zine: parenting, movement and little folk is a compilation zine of radical parenting* challenges, experiences and reflections.  The zine is open to contributions from parents, caregivers, children and allies .The theme for the inaugural issue is “Firsts.”

Raising Rebellion is a zine I started writing when I was pregnant. I wrote the first issue to share with my unborn fetus, family, friends and friendly folk. My plan is to keep writing as life with Ruby unfolds.

*Radical Parenting is an imperfect term and is meant here as inclusive and diverse – an exploration of parenting styles that value respect, trust, autonomy, diversity, non-oppression, learning, love and revolution.

For more info, or to submit a piece for the upcoming issue of Building Blocs, or if you have a zine or resource you’d like to distro through Tricycle, email Lara at utopia@riseup.net.

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Delivery Room Dads: Shut Up, Sit Still, Butt Out

Thanks to DaddyTypes for pointing out this obscene example of how birthing families are disenfranchised from having any real say in their birth experience these days. In Esquire’s post 11 Real Delivery-Room Disasters a New Dad Should Avoid, delivery room dads are told to shut their mouths, sit still, and butt out.

I will say that 3 of the 11 points are valid out of a need for sensitivity to the mama, and basically to maintain a general level of respectful behavior.  #1: No, don’t complain that her belly is all jello-y after the baby comes out.  #4: No, don’t ask the doc to sew her vagina up tighter  as a gift to you.  And #11: No, you don’t need to watch the Nascar race while your child is being born.

But those 3 aside, the other 8 points are insulting to birthing families who rightfully expect to have some freedom of choice over their birth experience, and be treated with respect by their care provider.

Check out the original list here

#2 – Why in the world shouldn’t a partner climb into bed with his laboring lady?  That sweaty guy and his boxer shorts might make you uncomfortable, doctor, but he is the one paying you $10k+ for an hour or two of work.

#3 – Getting tangled in an IV wouldn’t be nearly as big of a problem if we didn’t use IV’s and medication so frivolously!  Instead of doing away with dads in bed, lets do away with place-an-IV-just-in-case policies!  And wanting to get into bed with his laboring lady does NOT make the partner “a dumbass.”

#5 – Actually, I think it’s fine to “mention the tear.”  The more informed a partner is about the birth process, the better prepared they are to support mom in the postpartum period.

#6 – I’m going to give the birthing couple the benefit of the doubt here, and assume that the partner who “won’t let the mom get an epidural even though she’s sobbing in pain” is actually just reminding her of her birth plan, in a proactive and supportive way.  In which case, it’s the doctor who needs to remember his place, not the dad.

#7 – Am I really having to remind the OBs of the world that this is the father’s birth experience, too?  Fainting in the delivery room is every father’s right, and shouldn’t earn dad the reputation of being “some dingbat who smacked his gourd on the way down.”

#8 – Recent studies have shown dramatic benefits that far outweigh the risks of eating & drinking in labor.  Mom’s body should be trusted to tell her what she needs.

#9 – This one borders on being as offensive as when doctors try to rush labor because they have plans that evening.  Cutting the cord is one of the only ways dads can physically participate in the delivery of the baby.  So how about the doctor stops “dicking around” and supports the new family and their wishes, however inconvenient.

#10 – Are.you.kidding.  Skin to skin contact is the best for baby, and why shouldn’t dad be allowed to provide it, too?  Take it all off, dad!